Saturday, November 7, 2009

outpouring emotion..

It's been quite awhile since I last dropped off thoughts and feelings I was used to sharing on this site. I admit to be still trying to have an open heart and mind so that I could at least weigh and balance things. The choice as to which is way better to do than say things I might only regret in the end.

But then sometimes it's not enough to just stay in one corner and say nothing while some people drop you like a hot potato. And it's sad to realize that I now find myself at the height of trying to gain back what's been taken away from me only because my name is dragged in the issue.

How do I deal with a boss at work whose level of understanding is not as broad as I expected? How do I defend myself when I was already being judged over things I never did in the first place? These are questions cropping up my mind last night as I was trying to give myself a good-night sleep. Questions I know in fact where there are no vague answers. But I was being foolished to have found myself straight to his office as if admitting a mistake I am never guilty of only to avoid trouble and end the issue.

OK, he boss's immaturity in his old age..that's it. But still I have serious regret. Had I only explained my side fearlessly, I could have been even more relieved. However, I told myself, "oh yeah! i guess this is the prize that i get for trying to avoid trouble but still the trouble came to challenge me."